Conversation of Palpatine and Pfilbee Jhorn

Conversation recorded during Palpatine's inspection of Endor shortly after Pfilbee Jhorn's expedition report.

*sniff sniff* Augh, what IS that? Trees?

Sure is, sire. Get used to it.

ACK, I think I'm going to be sick. Let's get this over with, Sergeant.

Happy to, sire. Now the Ewok village is about twenty kilometers to the west; I did bring along some flesh-eating bacteria canisters, if you wanted to maybe release them in their&mdash;

Bah! Forget it! They're no threat to us. Waste of time. What else ya got for me?

Well, we're also about twelve kilometers south of the marauder encampment. Now, we might want to&mdash;

Wait a second! Who's that?

...

Mmm...

...

Gooooood...

...

Oh my yes...

Um, sire?

That woman. Who is she, Jhorn?

Oh! Uhhh... That's Charal, sire. The Dathomiri witch from my report.

Beautiful and evil? ...I must meet her.

Who dares approach me?

The name is Palpatine. Perhaps you've heard of me. Emperor of the galaxy?

Indeed? Well, Emperor Palpatine, you have the distinct honor of being spoken to by Charal, Witch-Queen of this god-forsaken moon. You have come to serve my desires, have you not?

Oh yyyes. Ah ah ah.

Sire, we should probably be moving on...

What's his problem?

Shut UP, Jhorrrrrn!...

...Ah, nothing, nothing, my luscious black blossom. He is merely one of my pathetic toadies.

Sheesh...

Perhaps you should send him away?

Yes, yes, you're quite right, my dear...

...Get back to the ship, Sergeannnt!

Now then, let us retire to someplace more ... dank and subterranean.

Ha-haaaaa! You got it, baby!

Sire, I am charged with your protection.

''I don't need your protection, you bootlicking sack of piss! In case you haven't heard, I'm the fucking Dark Lord of the Sith! Now scram before I zap your worthless hinder back into the Draggulch Period!!''

*sigh* Can't even control his own minions. You bore me, so-called Emperor. Come back when you're a real evil sorceror.

...She's gone.

Fine by me. She's kinda creepy.

*grr* ... *gargle* ... *clench*

No need to thank me, sire. All in the line of duty.

Yesss... Your new duty, Sergeant, will be solitary confinement on an orbital mirror platform until the day you die.

No! Anything but that, sire! ...Bust me down to custodial service on Tatooine!

NEVER!