Star Wars Rebels



Star Wars Rebels is a TV Show aimed at young children, but  Adults everywhere are  being  are being told that this show is "Great" and that it is "better than the Prequels" Via  subliminal messages  administered  by Disney. So now Adults everywhere are praising this show like its something great. The show was initiannly created by the Certified Destroyer of Continuity and Franchises  Dave Filoni but production of Rebels was taken over by Disney because the show was not Kid friendly enough for Disney. Set Five years before episode 4 the show follows a group of 2 teenagers and 3 young adults smuggling things past the Imperials who are portrayed as idiots and generic school yard bullies. These people call themselves Rebels but in reality they are nothing more than Terrorists killing innocent Imperial

citizens and soldiers. These Terrorists inhabit a  really backwater Planet called Lothal. These people do not leave the Planetary System of Lothal very much. Star Wars Rebels has earned many awards The image to the left shows several of the Awards.

Season 1

Synopsis


The Show opens on an extremely backwater planet called Lothal, in fact it’s so backwater that If you asked someone on Coruscant about the Planet they would just look at you like "WTF bro are you on Spice ?" . There is only one City on the planet and it is called Capital City. So  Ezra  is in the city stealing from the  Empire  when his  Spidey Sense  starts to tingle (I refuse to acknowledge he can use the  Force  ) and so does Kanan’s. Kanan and his group of friends are also stealing from the  Empire  in the city and  Ezra  ends up stealing the shit  Kanan and his friends had just stolen from the Empire, so a chase ensues and they end up on  Speeder bikes  and they run around in the city then they exit the city and thats when a Tie Fighter  starts chasing them but they get saved by Kanans  friends who are flying their ship called The Ghost. After that  Kanan  finds out that Ezra  has  Spidey Sense  and takes him on his  apprentice  and so now  Ezra  is part of a band of Smugglers/Pirates/Terrorists who prey on the  Empire. And that is what the show is about  Kanan  teaching  Ezra about his  Spidey Sense  as well as stealing shit from the  Empire. Later on in the show they take to becoming Terrorists who destroy Imperial ships and kill hundreds of innocent Imperial citizens.

Main Characters (Good Guys):

<span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Ezra Bridger

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Ezra Bridger is the Reincarnation of Aladdin from the Disney movie Aladdin. In Rebels this kid lives on the street because his parents were stupid and tried to rebel against the Empire so they were taken away and most likely brutally murdered. Ezra is angry at the Empire because of it, For some reason Ezra can use the Force his ability to use the Force is minimal and if he had lived in the days of the Republic he would have most likely not been accepted into the Jedi Order.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">



<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> Jeb Orrelios

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is some sort of Mutant Wookiee thing, who closely resembles the Missing Link from Monster VS Aliens.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">Chopper

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is an ancient Astromech Droid who is a douche to everyone and quite frankly is of little to no use to anyone. Add to that the fact that he is a Pervert that records his female colleagues when they get undressed or when they take a shower.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Hera Syndulla

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is an ex-Twi’lek Stripper from Nar Shadada who was addicted to various forms of Spice. Little else is  known about her.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Kanan Jarrus

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">Is an ex-Jedi who was only trained up to Padawan level because of Order 66. Kanan was trained by a hologram of Depa Bilaba because at the time she was in a Coma, Kanan was not a very good student and he would most likely never graduated to the rank of Jedi Knight.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">Sabine Wren

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a 15 year old "Mandalorian " who is addicted to Huffing Spray Paint. She

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">thinks she is a badass of some sort but really all she does is kill her brain cells by getting high on paint fumes and spray paint other peoples property making those people have to pay large amounts of money to have her vandalism removed, she also likes to terroristically bomb Imperial property.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> <h3 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">Main Characters (Bad Guys):

Agent Kallus
Is an Agent for the I mperial Security Bureau or ISB for short (The ISB is like the Star Wars version of the FBI/CIA), <span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">Unfortunately  Kallus was the worst Agent in the ISB, they sent him out to catch the idiots running around on lothal. Any normal ISB Agent could have captured those idiots within a week. Kallus is such an idiot that he cant even shave his face properly.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">The Inquisitor

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a Dark Side Force user who is tasked with hunting down Jedi and killing them. <span style="font-size:11.0pt;line-height:115%; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri;mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"TimesNewRoman";mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:EN-US;mso-bidi-language:AR-SA">Unfortunately  he did not follow his masters training so he is not really a threat to anyone. In fact  he has yet to even put a scratch on Kanan or Ezra. He also has an utterly ridiculous Lightsaber that could not possibly function in any reality other than imagination land "where you fart when you burp and you burp when you fart!", his Lightsaber is supposed to compensate for his lack of fighting skills, which eventually leads to him decapitating himself with his own Lightsaber.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Stormtroopers

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">These guys were once great and effective Soldiers during the days of the Republic, back then they were called Clone Troopers. But when the Republic became an Empire their Soldiers almost immediately became incompetent idiots, but not for any logical reason.

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> <h3 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Secondary Characters:

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Lando Calrissian <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a real cool dude but in the show he owns a Farm along with some sort of Space Pig thing that will go all Puffer Fish when it hears loud noises. Fortunately for Lando though he had Relations with Hera and Sabine.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">R2-D2 And C-3PO <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Are two droids one is Protocol droid and the other is an Astromech droid. They are used as special guests in a feeble attempt to get Original Trilogy Fanboys to watch this pathetic show.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Luminara Unduli <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">She a Jedi Master during the Clone Wars. In Rebels she is dead and used as bait to capture those two idiot “jedi”. It works but they don’t stay captured for very long because the Imperials on Lothal are fucking idiots.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Wilhuff Tarkin <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is the greatest Canon military genius in Star Wars, unfortunately his genius is dumbed down to service the pathetic plot in Rebels.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Ahsoka Tano <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a 30 year old female Togruta who was the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker during the Clone Wars, at the time she was only 15. She is Dave Filoni’s ultimate fantasy and many Fanboys love to Circle Jerk to this once Underage Character…

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> <h3 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">WTF Moments

Sabine Is a Mandalorian!
<p style="line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black; mso-themecolor:text1">Sabine Wren is being called a Mandalorian not because she is actually a Mandalorian but because she wears Mandalorian Armor and she’s sort of good in a fight and she likes to blow things up. Sabine is actually just a rebellious Teenager who Graffiti’s peoples shit, clearly she has no respect for other people’s property.

<p style="line-height:16.5pt;">

The Inquisitors Lightsaber !
<p style="line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black; mso-themecolor:text1">So this pretend Sith guy has this Lightsaber, but its not like a normal Lightsaber. This Lightsaber has spinning blades and a section that can be removed and used as Frisbee (for recreational purposes im guessing). If Lightsabers could be Retarded then this is what they would look like!

<p style="line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black; mso-themecolor:text1">(Side Note: Apparently this is the standard Lightsaber design for all Imperial Inquisitors.)

<p style="line-height:16.5pt;">You can read more about his Lighsaber here

<p style="line-height:16.5pt;">

Ezra Gets A Lightsaber Crystal!
<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">So get this there is like a Jedi Temple thing on Lothal where Jedi Masters  would bring there Padawans to face the Jedi Trials. Can you spell “Convenient”? And guess what Kanan takes that child there and the child gets a Lightsaber Crystal there. That is some Fucking Ridiculously unbelievably Convenient Bull Shit…

Special Guests!
<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">The first Season of Rebels has 13 Episodes and in  roughly 7 of those episodes are appearances by characters from the Original Trilogy and The Clone Wars. There is nothing wrong with having special guests but they are over doing. Its almost as if they don’t think this show can survive on its own so they are mooching viewers with all these special guests. And now it is confirmed that there will be more characters from The Clone Wars and the Original Trilogy in the Second Season. <h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> Apparently no one can catch these people! Not the local Imperials, Not the local Govenor, not the Special ISB Agent, Not the Imperial Jedi Hunter Inquisitor person, Not the top military Officer responsible for the entire outer rim territories with almost unlimited resources at his disposal, Not Lord Vader the second most powerful Sith  in the entire Universe EVER and certainly not these two new Inqusitiors. And its not like these Rebels go very far from Lothal either because they don't.

Episodes
<p class="MsoNormal">(You can help out by expanding this Section)

<h4 class="MsoNormal">1. Spark of Rebellion Part 1 & 2

<h4 class="MsoNormal">3. Droids in Distress

<h4 class="MsoNormal">4. Fighter Flight

<h4 class="MsoNormal">5. Rise of the Old Masters

<h4 class="MsoNormal">6. Breaking Ranks

<h4 class="MsoNormal">7. Out of Darkness

<h4 class="MsoNormal">8. Empire Day

<h4 class="MsoNormal">9. Gathering Forces

<h4 class="MsoNormal">10. Path of the Jedi

<h4 class="MsoNormal">11. Idiot's Array

<h4 class="MsoNormal">12. Vision of Hope

<h4 class="MsoNormal">13. Call to Action

<h4 class="MsoNormal">14. Rebel Resolve

<h4 class="MsoNormal">15. Fire Across the Galaxy

Season 2
You can read about Shit to come in Season 2 here

Confirmed Crap in Season 2
Darth Vader

More Lando Calrissian

2 New Inquisitors

More Ahsoka

CURGI2/Captain Rex and 2 other Clones from TCW

Hondo Ohnaka

Midget Mon Calamari

A Mutha Fuckin Jaws Ripoff (Here is the video to confirm)

<h2 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">External Links Star Wars Rebels Sucks The Facebook Page

Star Wars Rebels Sucks The YouTube Channel

Star Wars Rebels Junk on Moviepilot