Conversation of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader

Conversation overheard between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader aboard Vader's shuttle, en route from Endor to the second Death Star.

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So...

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...Yyyep, ahhh. True nature of the Force.

I'm sorry, did someone say something? Someone who's not truly dead?

Look, I'm not totally dead! I still have most of my skull! And my lungs kinda work...

I was being metaphorical, you idiot. You're dead to me.

Well, that doesn't even make sense. We haven't really gotten to know each other.

Hm, wonder why.

What's that supposed to mean?

No, forget it! Fine! I'm here now. What d'you wanna talk about?

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Uh... W-well, we could...

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Dammit, I knew this was gonna be an awkward shuttle ride...

*exasperated sigh*

Wait, okay! Um, what are your feelings on... uh, uhhh... the Dark Side?

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What?

Is that all you can think about?

Well, it kinda dominates my destiny an' stuff...

*sigh* Look, I'm going along with this stupid meeting-the-Emperor thing, can we just&mdash;

Now, look, I know I haven't been the best dad&mdash;

Huh. Yeah, talk to the hand.

...But it wasn't so bad, was it? Growing up with Owen and what's-her-face?

Oh. Yeah. Super. Every kid wants to live like the bald guy from Star Trek V.

Hey, you think you had it bad? I&mdash;

I mean, you couldn't have visited? Even once? You had the whole damn Imperial fleet ... and you couldn't just pop in?

I'm ... not good with kids.

So? I don't&mdash;

No, you don't understand. I mean I'm really not good with kids.

Oi, too right! You remember that time at the Jedi Temple? All them little&mdash;

Put a sock in it, Fettspawn.

Sorry sir.