Star Wars Rebels

Star Wars Rebels


Star Wars Rebels is a TV Show aimed at young children, but for some reason Adults just love this show. The show was created by Dave Filoni

Set Five years before episode 4 the show follows a group of teenagers and young adults running around battling an incompetent Empire on a backwater planet called Lothal, they are for some reason under the impression that they are some kind of Rebels.

Main Characters (Good Guys):

Ezra Bridger

Is actually named Aladdin the star of the Disney movie Aladdin. He was transported to the Star Wars Universe by the Genie because he wanted Jasmine all to himself. His interdimensional parents were killed by the Empire so he’s all pissed at the Empire. He can also use the Force...





 Jeb Orrelios

Is some sort of Mutant Wookiee, who closely resembles the Missing Link from Monster VS Aliens. His entire Mutant race was destroyed by some guy that can’t shave his face.



Chopper

<span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is an ancient Astromech Droid who is a douche to everyone and makes secret Holo Recordings of the female crew members when they get undressed!

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Hera Syndulla

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a Twi’lek that doesn’t actually do anything except stop the rest of her crew from fighting. She pilots the ship all these people are on.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Kanan Jarrus

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a Padawan that somehow survived Order 66 and for some reason thinks he can train Aladdin in the ways of the force.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Sabine Wren

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is supposed to be some sort of Mandalorian Badass but really all she does is Graffiti crap and blow junk up, she is 15 years old. She is much like he Ahsoka Tano of Clone Wars because everyone is CircleJerking to her… <h2 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;">Main Characters (Bad Guys):

Agent Kallus
<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is some sort of an Agent for the Empire. He doesn’t really know how to shave and  whatever the hell his job is he’s not very good at it.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">The Inquisitor

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a Dark Side Force user who is tasked with hunting down Jedi and killing them, he has yet to even put a scratch on Kanan and Ezra. He also has an utterly ridiculous Lightsaber that could not possibly function in any reality other than imagination land "where you fart when you burp and you burp when you fart!".

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Stormtroopers

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">These guys are idiots who couldn’t hit the broadside of a Star Destroyer I mean yeah they have bad aim in the movies but this is just ridicules. They also have very slow reaction time so they probably have some sort of mental retardation just saying…

<p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"> <h2 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Secondary Characters:

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Lando Calrissian <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a real cool dude but in the show he owns a Farm along with some sort of Space Pig thing that will go all Puffer Fish when it hears loud noises. Fortunately for Lando though he sexed up Hera and Sabine.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">R2-D2 And C-3PO <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Are two droids one is Protocol droid and the other is an Astromech droid. They are used as special guests in a feeble attempt to get Original Trilogy Fanboys to watch this pathetic show.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Luminara Unduli <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">She a Jedi Master during the Clone Wars. In Rebels she is dead and used as bait to capture those two idiot “jedi”. It works but they don’t stay captured for very long because the Imperials on Lothal are fucking idiots.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Wilhuff Tarkin <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is the greatest Canon military genius in Star Wars, unfortunately his genius is dumbed down to service the pathetic plot in Rebels.

<h4 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Ahsoka Tano <p style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">Is a 30 year old female Togruta who was the Padawan of Anakin Skywalker during the Clone Wars, at the time she was only 15. She is Dave Filoni’s ultimate fantasy and many Fanboys love to Circle Jerk to this Underage Character…

<h2 style="margin:12pt0in;line-height:16.5pt;"><span style="font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:Helvetica;color:black;mso-themecolor:text1">External Links Star Wars Rebels Sucks The Facebook Page

Star Wars Rebels Sucks The YouTube Channel

Star Wars Rebels Junk on Moviepilot