Galactic Religion

Warning: This article is offends all people with a strong sense of belief, especially Atheists

The Galactic Religion, alternatively known as the Imperial Religion or The Grand Society of Assholes(although this name is officially applied only to the central administrative body) was a Pan-galactic religion initiated by Darth Doctrination as a means of coercing the populace of the Galaxy into mass-Sith worship and/or suicide. It was centred on the beliefs of Hatred, the Force, and Sith Supremacy, though not necessarily in that order. Formed in 19BBY, it worked closely with the Galactic Empire in establishing Sith Overlord-ship, and thought the Empire fell, the Imperial Religion lived on. To learn more about the creation of this infernal hemmorhoid on the Galactic arse, see Pulpitine.

Theology
"..and now, concerning God-Hey wait! Isn't that Yoda doing a stupid pet trick??"

- A typical end to a Pulpitine speech

In all the years of its existance, it has never been established exactly what it was Galactic Practitioners were supposed to believe in. Galactic Relgious texts are all very vague and obscure as to whether there was supposed to be One God, or Many, or even if there was any God at all.

They were however, very clear on what was not holy, ie any type of belief. Most especially prosecuted were the Brotherhood of the Bird (although Galactic Religion borrows heavily from them and they share some beliefs) and of course the Jedi. While the Sith were held to be the Holiest of the Holy, the Jedi were merely cheap Demon-possessed imitations, their leader being a force ghost that led Yoda astray.

Doctrine
The actual relegious text of the Galactic Religion consitsted of carefully laid out rules that would aid Non-Force users in their worship of the Sith which, along with dying was the path to eternal happiness and bliss.

"You leave the reading to us, we'll leave the dying to you"

- Galactic Religious Doctrine

The Galactic Doctrine consited of a set of 80 simple rules, called the 80 roads to happiness, which were as follows:

1. Only the Sith can kill 2. Only the Sith can have Sex. 3. Okay, you can kill Jedi. 4. No books, it is better to Kill thy neighbour than to learn anything. It is even better to sit around watching porn. 5.

Orgaisation
The Galactic Religion was very well organised, consisting of a three tiered system:

The GSA
The Grand Society of Assholes was the Central Administrative unit of the Imperial Religion, with Pulpitine as its head and a number of other sufficiently nasty dudes to help him. Their job was to think of ideas to make Galactic lives more miserable than they were and devise insideous schemes to implement these ideas.

The Instant Messengers of Deliverance
The Messengers of Deliverance were like a PR group for the GR. Consisting of scantily clad priests, they hailed from all sorts of smaller, poorer, planets, and were hired based on their programming skills. Once hired they were charged with the task of spreading the GR to almost every part of the galaxy and coming up with all sorts of wild and exotic religious practices for people to follow. they were very good at convincing people to do Great Evil in the name of Good.

The Fists of Vengance
They were the military wing of the Galactic Religion whose job was to protect the interests of the GR at all costs. consisting of highly indoctrinated young people, they were known for their ruthlessness, loyalty, and to some degree, insanity (which led to intense rivalry with the Pop-Ups.