User:Madclaw/Vader

"Now where the fuck is my "act evil" button?"

- Darth Vader

Darth Vader or Lord Goth was actually much cooler than his wimpy counter-part, Anakin Skywalker, this was mainly because he liked blowing up stuff, especially planets. Nobody liked Anakin, anyway. Vader was jealous of Darth Malak's jaw thingy, so he dumped oatmeal all over his body, which got himself a whole life-sustaining suit. Amazingly, he would later regret this.

Vader chopped Obi-Wan Kenobi in half while Kenobi searched the box on Vader's chest, trying to find "Reset."

Trying to find the rebels
"Hello Lord Vader, are you here to save me? Wait.... why do you look like a Rebel?"

- A stupid Stormtrooper

Darth Vader spent most of his time searching the Galaxy in an attempt to find and kill all rebels. He used many different methods to find them but the most famous one is the "disguise yourself as a Rebel" method. You've probably already guessed what that means, but I'm going to explain it anyway.

One day Darth Vader disguised himself as a Rebel named Darth Vader and tried to find their base, but he failed. He was able to convince a few Rebels he was one of them but a Stormtrooper, who was captured by the Rebels, recognized his boss and asked him if he was there to save him. When the Rebels realized that darth vader was actually Darth Vader they fled. Vader then killed the stormtrooper.

Vader's Death
Vader died saving his crying son Lukey from Darth Sideous the Hideous. Darth S. was lightning Vader's son and was saying "Your Mama" jokes at him. So Vader took a huge electromagnet and said "You dissing my wife, well, say 'Hello', to my little electromagnet Friend."

- Vader .

Unfortunately, he forgot he was mostly made of metal and while Darth Sidious was getting shocked by his own lightning, Vader was getting sucked into the magnet. Luke then turns off the magnet to see his father being only a cube of metal with a head on top.

Personality and traits
Vader had a penchant for blowing up planets and enjoyed long walks in the parks of Imperialized planets. He was attracted to shiny objects and liked to Force fondle women's rears from an observable distance while daydreaming about that one chick that couldn't even handle a wimpy version of the Force Choke.

Notes and references
