Sophitia Alexandra

You have new erections.

The daughter of Darth Baker (actually a clone of Guri with some of Baker's DNA injected), Sophitia Alexandra was a Sith apprentice who worked at her family bakery under the name Darth Boobies! until she tried to be a Jedi, failed, and instead became a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord. She lives in Athens, has blonde hair, green eyes and pale white skin, and brings hotness to a whole new level, just like her mother. She has always treasured her country's culture, and worships Hephaestus, a false deity that is NOT the true God.

After being tricked by Yoda that she had been sent to destroy the Evil Sword of Doom!!!!!, Soul Edge, Sophitia went and destroyed it, and destroyed it again, until finally her father, with the help of Tira, convinced her to give up and just rejoin the Sith again. After this happened, she became good friends with Darth Vader and his apprentice Darth Secret, but not more than that. This was because God arranged her marriage with the blacksmith Rothitron - actually the incredibly ugly Decepticon Sith Mega-Super-Overlord and leader Darth Megatron in disguise.

At one point, Sophitia and Lord Megatron had a threesome with Darth Darth Binks; the resulting mindfuck led to Sophitia's impregnation and caused her to give birth to two annoying droid Shitspawn children, Patroklos and Pyrrha, who later renamed themselves Mudflap and Skids and defected to the Autobots.

Unlike her father, Sophitia is Greek, not Swedish. Get that into your head.

Also, her boobs can destroy your planet.

Birth and early live (1566-1584)
At some point, Darth Baker perfected his recipe for "sooper-schmurty-flurty-beeshy-boshy-cluuuuuune-a!", which allowed him to make bread-based human clones of droids and other machines using the mystic power of weaselpudge as well as some of his own DNA. Using this technique, Guri was used to create a new, sexy human daughter/apprentice for Baker, who was named Sophitia. This technique would later be repeated, this time using some of No Soup-a With-a Buffet's DNA as well, to create Sophitia's "sister" Cassandra, who isn't as sexy but is really adorable ^^

Sophitia grew up working at the Sith Academy of Culinary Arts, training under her father. The first movie she ever saw was Disney's Hercules, at which point she developed a compulsive obsession with Ancient Greece, moving to Athens and refusing to speak any language except Ancient Greek. Consequently, Baker was forced to learn the language so that he could talk to her daughter, but spoke it with a terrible Swedish accent.

At this point, Sophitia also began worshipping the false Greek "gods", some of which were fabrications made by Minitrue (such as Hephaestus, god of forges) but others of which were real people who just happened to be awesome (such as Kratos, god of war, and Leonidas, god of SPARTAAAAAAA! and all-around awesomeness). The latter two both fell head over heels for Sophitia's hotness and each slept with her at least twice. However, this angered the real God to no end, because Sophitia refused to acknowledge His existence and sleep with Him, too.

The quest begins (1584)
In 1584 AD, Yoda traveled to Sophitia's homeworld and, hoping to have her join the Jedi Order, disguised himself as the "god" Hephaestus and convinced the girl to destroy the Evil Sword of Doom!!!!! Soul Edge, wielded by the dread pirate Cervantes de Leon.



Teaming up with a Wormie impersonator, a lesbo ninja, Optimus Prime, Gandalf the White, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli and Boromir, she set out to destroy Soul Edge and return peace to the galaxy; however, her Sith instincts told her to keep the sword for herself and become Overlord of Everything. During the final battle with Cervantes, this gave just enough of a delay for Cervantes to gag, paralyze, rape and almost kill Sophitia, until Taki saved her just in time.

People who Sophitia slept with happily

 * Kratos
 * LEONIDAAAAAAAAAS!
 * Darth Vader
 * Darth Secret
 * Cassandra Alexandra
 * Tira
 * Darth Frazzle
 * Guri FTW!
 * Leia Organa
 * God
 * Mitsurugi

People who Sophitia slept with unhappily

 * Darth Megatron
 * Darth Darth Binks
 * Starscream
 * Astaroth
 * Lizardman
 * Darth Cullen

People who refused to sleep with Sophitia

 * Voldo
 * Darth Cobra Commander
 * Darth Barney

People killed by Sophitia

 * Cervantes de Leon
 * Tira
 * Wookiee-Nookie Monster
 * Darth ShamWOW!
 * Darth Hotair
 * Darth Dubya
 * Darth Frazzle

Appearances
Soulcalibur IV: Super Ultra Battle Duel Fight Legend of Soul Calibur Ultra Final Battle Duel Fight!! (one of the few non-gay characters)