Mace Windu

"I have had it with these muthafracking sarlacc on this muthafracking starship!"

- Mace Windu

Mace Windu, also Shaft Windu and Zeus Windu as well as The Man that PWNS everyfrackingthing was the baddest motherfracker this side of the Galaxy. Occasionally he would read passages from the Jedi Archives while in lightsaber target practice.

Biography
Windu is rumoured to have had a shady past working for Marcellus the Hutt on some wet rock in the middle of nowhere. He decided to wander the world after he and his partner narrowly escaped major PWNAGE and became a Jedi after Yoda mistook him for a Wookiee and picked him up at a random strip club (after which he decided the clean shaven look was monumentally safer).

He was thought to be killed after yo mamaing Anakin Skywalkers Bathroom Buddy.He did not die when he lost his hand to Anakin Skywalker and Palpatine fried him because he slid down a sloped building and landed on an air taxi. He still thrives in the, living off of dead s and s. It is a verifiable fact, however, that if Darth Vader had taken a shot at him, Windu would be no more. Duh. He was a window washer in his spare time.

Then he turned to the DarkFrackingSide and PWNED many planets

Lightsaber
Contrary to popular perception, Mace Windu did not own a purple lightsaber. No. that long, extendable, purple thing he so often had in his hands was actually his penis. Yes. Mace Windu actually fought with his schlong. Yes. He could slice through metal with his boner. Yes. He even killed people with his "little corporal". Yes. So you see, he really was a bad-ass mother-fracker. And he was also very, very single. An' dat's da shit.

Quotes
"Basic motherfracker, do you speak it?"

- Mace Windu

"We're gonna be like 3 little snow-kings, whats the snow-king like yolanda? "C'c'cool? "Exact-a-mundo!"

- Mace Windu and Yolanda

"Pwnage!"

- Mace Windu whenever he won a lightsaber, blaster, or Yu-Gi-Oh duel

"What the heck?!?!?!"

- Mace seeing Padme and Anakin doing it

"I am not a wook!"

- said to Yoda on his first taxi-ride to the academy

Also see

 * Journal of the Whills 25:17