Obi-Wan Kenobi

"I loved you, Anakin!"

- Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the master of both Anakin and Luke Skywalker, and had a somewhat unhealthy approach to both of them. He had an itch that continued for 41 years, so once, when about to kill a Sith Mega-Super-Overlord, he scratched his butt and the Sith split him in half.

Obi Wan, adopted the artistic name of "Ben the Man" while on tour with the "Jedi Brass Ensemble" band. He eventually got lost in Tatooine after a few nights completely intoxicated with death sticks. When a kid showed up near his place he was still recovering, that why you see him stumbling in his first appearence.

The intoxicated state lasted up to the point he needed to deactivate the shields in Death Star. Evidence of such is the lost eyesight at his house while talking to Luke, when he accidentally picked his saber and cut an arm in the cantina while reaching his wallet to pay a drink and, the most evident, when he felt dizzy and then made up "the disturbance in the Force" gibberish in the Millennium Falcon.

Of course he needed to be sober to deactivate the shields or else he would be base jumping a few miles down to the reactor... and the saga would end very quickly... When he talks about the "Force" he's referring to this imaginary friend he has, usually a 900 year old green puppet he can't quite remember where he left...