Darth Ban

Darth Bann, formerly known as Admin was a hyper-evil Lord of the Shit.

Early Life
Born as a Jedi Master named Admin he took many more Padawawawans than usual. Living on Alaska and never having received any training he fucked up a lot of them. Many died when he assigned them to some "test", i.e. going to his neighbour and getting back his hair trimmer. Neighbour was quite confused, because Admin did not have any hair. So he killed quite a lot of those kids. Admin always watched his little apprentices to see if one of them would actually be able to make it. They never did. As he was about 5 years old, and about 523 padawawawans had been killed in this manner, the Jedi Council sent the all-un-mighty Horse Jedi to check out, what the hell was happening there.

Upon arriving on Alaska, he saw the huge pile of padawawawan skeletons and body in different states of decomposition, he became mighty sick and puke all Neighbour. Neighbour wanted to look, what was producing all that stink outside of his stable and come out to get a short peek. Unfortunately Alaska is a planet so damned cold, that all that barf had shock frozen and was really (and i mean really) slick. Neighbour began a slide down right into the pile of padawawawans and somehow got buried right beneath all of them. Horse Jedi, being a compasionate mount, began burying his way to all the dead wanna-be Jedi until he found Neighbour severely hurt. As fortune struck, Admin came around being bored and so decided to collapse the pile and see, what would become of his neighbour Neighbour and Horse Jedi.

"They were just too weak to become Jedi"

- Darth Bann tells Horse Jedi, that they had just been to weak to become Jedi

Unfortunately Horse Jedi was just a Horse, and Neighbour was not exactly easy to lift, so with all the weight of dead padawawawans atop him he did not manage to free the Alaskan. With an effort, that used up all his remaining POWAHH and force, he was at least able to free himself of all the dead bodies and was at least able to confront Admin. Horse Jedi accused Admin of killing all the dead padawawawans, while he said they were just to weak to become Jedi. Disturbed by Horse Jedis aparent lack of fun at killing kids, Darth Bann let out a mighty fart of his mechanical butt, that incinerated Horse Jedis fur. In the cold air of Alaska and without his protective fur, Horse Jedi went amok and killed many Alaskans with his Force hind leg kick, but in the end he froze like a glass of water.

Notes and references
