Darth Bob

"Life is a gift, life is... ah who the hell am I kidding, go ahead and kill yourself."

- Darth Bob

Darth Bob was a total failure a successful business man who, upon being caught in an affair with his mother, was humiliated and fell to the dark side. After this, Bob's life was devoted to finding and ruining the lives of homosexuals. He once tried to form an alliance with Darth Elmo of Sesame Street, only before Elmo responded by blowing some random place up. His greatest triumph was the notorious picture of Bert and Ernie in the tub. However, later in life he took a video of Bert and Ernie doing... uh, let's not go there. Because of this, Bob was responsible for the suicide of Ernie and later the murder of Bert. After these events occured, he formed an empire of his own and tried to overthrow Darth Darth Binks with his army of Banana Peels. Unfortunately for Bob, he failed miserably, later killing himself. Bob, unlike most Sith, never destroyed a planet. Yes, this did contribute to his loserness.

Early Life
Little is known about Bob's early years. What is known is of little detail. After an attempt at a "relationship" of questionable motive with his mother and the resultant fall out of a window into some random place's sewers, where he was found by Darth Random, the random man who would train him in the ways of the random Force. After a grueling week of sleeping, shitting, jerking off to "Afro-Grannies" and generally doing nothing, Bob "killed" his master with random patent-pending "Force Bore to Death". Random, however, survived and sought vengeance on Bob.

Revenge
Bob realized that the only way his mother could not be attracted to him was if she was homosexual. Bob vowed to kill all of gay people - starting with his mother. Bob stormed the apartment of the woman in question and tearfully ruthlessly killed her. After this, he went on to seek revenge against homosexuals. Taking a disturbing photograph of Bert and Ernie which later became one of the more well known images in the galaxy, Bob was pleased. However their lives didn't change at all causing Bob to become officially pissed off.

Darth Elmo and the "Video"
Bob was not happy about his failure to kill and\or ruin the lives of Ernie and Bert, so he continued to plot. Finally, everything was ready to go. He contacted Darth Elmo to blow Bert's planet up. Unfortunately, Elmo was the boss of the two Bob wished to kill. Darth Elmo showed up pissed at Bob's apartment. Bob locked himself in his room as Elmo blew some random place up. However, his planning didn't end and years later - unfortunetly before Elmo’s suicide - he shot a video that will live in legend; Bert and Ernie... uh, let's not go there. Bob was such a loser that this was his only success... ever!

Darth Nihilus was also trained by Bob, in the ways of the sith and his language skills.

The Return of Darth Random
Around this time, Bob found that his four-hour lecture on the importance of green beans to society did not in fact kill his master, only boring him into unconsciousness. Random was now on a desert planet believed to be the Jawa homeworld. Upon arriving on the planet he found a very distressed, and very alive, Darth Jawa. Apparently someone drank 50 gallons of Jawa Juice and didn't pay!!! Bob knew that this was Random so he and Jawa ran after him(being led by some conveniently placed tracks) and eventualy caught up with a very tired and very drunk Darth Random. Bob pulled out his "Big Book of Gay Insults" and Jawa reved up his juicer. However Jawa's juicer backfired and turned him into Jawa Juice. Bob restated his mastery of Force Bore to Death by boring Random to death... but not before Random drank Darth Jawa.

Other Stuff
Now feeling fofilled about his Anti-gay purge of The GalaxyBob Focused his attention on Destroying a planet the one thing his sithly legacy was missing. But first that Fuzzy Sith bane of all existance Darth Elmo the very puppet that humiliated him before, had to pay. (so much for forgive and forget). Bob started out by forming a colition of Lame coolness impaired Sith. the members of this Leauge of Coolness Impared Sith or LCIS were of course Bob himself as well as, Darth Poop, Darth Obvious, Darth Awesome, Darth Small and Darth Fat Guy. The crack team was to puppetnap Elmo, and well to be honest they didn't thing past that very much. Darth Awesome (who really shouldn't be in a group of lame Sith.) went to Elmo's fortress and asked for a job, Elmo was stunned that somone of the awesometude of Darth Awesome would come to him, and quickly made the man one of his asshairs. However the plan did not take into account that Awsome may be hired and failed miserably. Soon after the team broke up.

An Empire
After the suicide of Darth Elmo Bob decided to form an empire of his own. He found a planet of Banana Peels who worshiped him as a god. Two seconds later, Bob sent them off to die against fight Darth Darth Binks' empire. Bob would battle Binks himself. That’s too bad for Bob. After a milisecond and the loss of all four limbs, Bob stabbed himself through the chest. That’s right he is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooser! And to add insult to it, the Bananas joined Binks.

Personality and traits
"uh wait gimme a second I need to think of a cool thing to say...."

- Darth Bob on being quoted

Darth Bob was pathetic a big fat PWNing machine and was coolness impared for his entire life. He was quick to anger and had the smallest a great empire of any sith(even Darth Elmo0 sithiness.

Powers and abilities
Bob was a Master of Force Bore to Death but other than that he pretty much sucked.

Sorces
Darth Bob: The Biography I would have wrote had I not been whooped by a Gungan

F-you: The Tale of Darth Bob

Darth Bob vs Darth Random

Darth Bob:The inaproprate side of a sith