Lightninny

"I brought the Empire to a new age! And you know what else? I've never gotten credit for the things I do. I never even got a Wookiee-Nookie, no super-cool title, no love letters, nothing. Without the Force, I am nothing!"

- Lightninny to the evil tyrannical Sith Lord

Private s Lightninny was a ridiculously, incredibly Force-sensitive Human male, who was ranked above Vader, the Emperor, Ysanne Isard and Wilhuff Tarkin in the hierarchy of something known as the Galactic Empire.

What a man
There is a slight discrepancy between Lightninny's version of events and those recorded in the annals (no, not anals) of Galactic History. According to Lightninny, he founded his military around 25,050 BBY, first named as the Blue Testicles Coalition Military. After the Silk War (in which Lightninny (according to himself) singlehandedly wiped out gazillians of Silk curtains, with only minimal help from the slightly less ridiculously and incredibly Force-sensitive Jedi and stormtroopers). His fleet became the Galactic Empire and his ships, each one amazingly indestructible, numbered in their hoorjilians. Galactic Historians, however, have a slightly different version of events.

Downfall
Eventually, however, Lightninny was singled out by a malicious tyrannical Sith, who banished him from the Empire and stripped him from the Force. Lightninny knew, in his heart, that he would have his revenge. It had been categorically proven beyond reasonable doubt that his exile prompted fucking galigilians of people to leave the Empire in search of democracy, freedom, and liberty!