Unidentified man in green firing turret

"At last I will reveal myself to the fanboys. At last I will have my revenge."

- The unidentified man in green firing turret

The unidentified man in green firing turret, born unidentified fetus inside woman's womb, was born to Yarna daala Gargantuan and Deep Roy on Tatooine in Don't tell me you didn't see this coming... BBY. As he came into the world, the unidentified man in green firing turret was instantly catapulted into stardom as holo-papers began featuring him as the "bantha baby", a twenty-seven pound child given birth to by a six-breasted woman. After several years of constantly being in the spotlight, the "bantha baby" began getting less and less attention as something much freakier was spawned. The unidentified man in green firing turret, now nine years-old, entered a deep state of depression.

After living on the streets of Tatooine for a decade, the unidentified man in green firing turret devised a plan to win his legion of fans back by going on the Subway diet. Of course, being the genius he is, the unidentified man in green firing turret also found that the more subs he ate, the more weight he lost, naturally. Only months later, the unidentified man in green firing turret had lost a whoppin' six-hundred and fifty-four pounds. Not long after, the media drew their attention away from Bea Arthur and once more began following the unidentified man in green firing turret, much to his delight. Becoming the Subway spokesman, life was a lot easier. The unidentified man in green firing turret also began his career in acting not long after, starring in such films as "The Unidentified Man With the Golden Turret" and "Unidentified Man in Green Firing Turret of Arabia". However, the unidentified man in green firing turret's most acclaimed role in "Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi" didn't come until several years later where he cameo'd as an unidentified man in green firing turret. Thousands of fanboys throughout the galaxy rejoiced upon finding the man in such a role, and found his dramatic portrayal the most inspiring part of the film.

However, the unidentified man in green firing turret's success didn't come without failure. After seven long years of marriage, the unidentified man in green firing turret's wife, Jenna Haze, filed for divorce. The unidentified man was devastated, becoming an alcoholic not long after. Because of this, Subway replaced the man with some new guy and roles in films became increasingly hard to find. It was at this point that the unidentified man in green firing turret encouraged his long-time friend, Darth Lucas, to make another film for him to star. Lucas began writing the next addition in the Star Wars for the unidentified man in green firing turret to be in. In this film, the unidentified man in green firing turret was to have the starring role as the Jedi Chosen One. However, as he began writing the movie, Lucas betrayed his friend and instead changed the unidentified man in green firing turret into a bratty kid who's banging a queen, believing it would draw in a much larger crowd. Looking back on this decision, Darth Lucas regrets it no doubt, as a movie about the unidentified man in green firing turret would have definitely been better. Feeling betrayed, the unidentified man in green firing turret left the galaxy in search for something better.

Little is known what happened during the fifteen years of exile the unidentified man in green firing turret put himself through, but what is known is that he did in fact return years later now as a Sith Underlord titled the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret. He also returned with his Sith master, Lightninny, the most powahful Sith Mega-Super-Overlord of all time. Lightninny, who had been banished from the galaxy just years prior to the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret's exile, instructed his apprentice to wage war against various planets and destroy them if necessary in an attempt to dominate the entire galaxy. However, in his selfishness, the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret kept his sights on Darth Lucas. The Sith Underlord was as mad as hell at his former friend and he wasn't going to take this anymore. The unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret kidnapped the man, tied him to a bed, and hobbled his feet so the slave couldn't escape. After the release of "The Phantom Menace", many giddy fanboys met this move with delight. The unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret had once again earned his fans back. Hundreds of websites went on to feature the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret on their main page... except for one.

The website that refused to feature the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret was none other than the dagnasty evil Wookieepedia. The Wookieepedia Cabal (which doesn't exist, of course) was behind the decision. To the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret's shock, they had also been behind the decision to banish Lightninny from the galaxy, as well. Lightninny and his apprentice brought their war to Wookieepedia. However, not long after, the unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret was killed and became one with the Force.

The unidentified Sith Underlord in green firing turret now spends most of his Force ghost time vandalizing Darthipedia.