Wedgie Antilles

''I am Wedgie Antilles. I am very Wedgie-like. I get wedgies all the time. I also give other people wedgies too. The galaxy is mine for the wedgieing! No one can withstand my Wedgies! I can barely withstand them myself! Wedgies are the main source of power in the Universe. The Force takes credit for all the power of Wedgies, but the Force is a fraud. It deserves a big killer monster Wedgie, and so do all the lame Jedi and Sith. ''

Wedgie Antilles on wedgies, the Universe, the Jedi, the Sith, and everything else that doesn't have anything to do with wedgies.

Early Life

I name you Wedgie The gay Obi-wan Kenobi giving Wedgie his wedgie-like name.

One day, Obi-wan Kenobi was getting drunk on Jawa juice when he saw a baby in a cradle next to the bar. When he noticed the baby lacked any parents, he took him to his trailer outside Mos Eisley and raised him, giving him the name Wedgie Antilles. Wedgie escaped the gay man's trailer home and became a pilot for Wedgie squadron. But when Palpatine and Darth Vader found the squadron's weakness and gave it a Wedgie, he abandoned Wedgie squadron and went to Mos Eisley, just in time to see Luke leading a guerrilla force of gay hippies stealing power converters and killing Jawas. Wedgie decided to put a stop to it and gave them all a Force Wedgie. At age 12, Wedgie decided to explore Tatooine and fell into the Sarlaac pit, where he died. Because of this tragic accident, Wedgie didn't make it past the Bold letters "Early Life".