Goblin-Man



THE HISTORY OF THE GOBLIN-MAN:

Goblin-Man's history is as goblinish as he is. From the moment his girlfriend said to him in front of his mate Alphas Carmirriaz 'He's hot you're not,' and his mate Raven said to him 'Goblin-Man, what the hell have flying fish got to do with media?' he adopted the name. Goblin-Man overnight developed supernatural powers - such as swinging from building to building on a guillobubble, leaving the heating on next to a stackful of clothes all night and not getting them burnt at all, gripping fish with one hand whilst talking to Toby on his mobile phone with the other, staying on one foot during prefect duty at school, rushing home after a detention with ten hours to spare, making everything invisible, and, above all, that famous tactic of eating cake. He always MADE THINGS BIGGER every time he held them, you see. Back to buisness. Goblin-Man made his girlfriend fall under a frozen lake when he was walking with her once, and he killed her boyfriend by pushing him off a rooftop with the guillobubble. The guillobubble was his private flying device, but in the end it forced him to crash onto planet Khaodghem Three and expire.

History of the Goblin-Man
Or, as the song goes on Tatooine:

''Dresses like a Goblin,

Looks like an Orc,

If we're gonna find him we'll have to make him talk,

For we've got 'til noon,

Then we'll soon,

Be off to catch the Goblin-Man.''

Or, as another song goes on Alderaan:

''A Goblin-Man! A Goblin-Man!

Does whatever a Goblin can!

Captures families, just like pies,

Terrifies men, and unzips their flies!

Look out, here comes a Goblin-Man!''

Or, as the paragraph goes in Nomocosmos, on Ardusa One:

''And to his wonder and delight Secret saw a massive beast hurtling through the trees and come crashing out onto the Sandwich, breaking it to a crumb. That ended that battle, for the Newlook of Barrier was a mighty beast, and his species do not live on planet Alderaan in these days, but the ones who do live are but mince pies of his almighty prowess and overwhelming hatred. On his back hung what seemed to be the remains of a dark, black torre, akin to something from Tower Park on Earth, with Plunk Droids sliding down torrents of water in downward facing slides to plunge into the battle beneath. The Clones were scattering, giving way to Newlook, and the arrows they shot made no difference, they bounced off the monster's sides, making him as indifferent to weapons as salmon are to oceans. He blundered on and on, scattering Clone Troopers and the infamous Han Solo aside, and soon he was lost in the distance. What became of him Secret never heard, whether he escaped to go to the theatre for a time, or if he abandoned his job as a plumber and went to New Line Cinema and got swallowed up.''

''What that has to do with the Goblin-Man don't ask me, but that is how the story goes. We can only guess that this was the Goblin-Man's steed, but why Goblin-Man, with all his powerful rocking, was not on it at the current history in Time, no-one knows. However, this is still a bit of a catch: people on Ardusa Ten want to hear more about Goblin-Man and how he didn't save the people from the Verdant Nilbog, so we'll move on.''

　

 

 

Some people don't think so
Goblin-Man's history is as goblinish as he is. From the moment his girlfriend said to him in front of his mate Padme 'He's hot you're not,' and his mate Dooku said to him 'Goblin-Man, what the hell have flying fish got to do with media?' he adopted the name. Goblin-Man overnight developed supernatural powers - such as swinging from building to building on a guillobubble, leaving the heating on next to a stackful of clothes all night and not getting them burnt at all, gripping fish with one hand whilst talking to Toby on his mobile phone with the other, staying on one foot during prefect duty at school, rushing home after a detention with ten hours to spare, making everything invisible, and, above all, that famous tactic of eating cake. He always MADE THINGS BIGGER every time he held them, you see. Back to buisness. Goblin-Man made his girlfriend fall under a frozen lake when he was walking with her once, and he killed her boyfriend by pushing him off a rooftop with the guillobubble. The guillobubble was his private flying device, but in the end it forced him to crash onto planet Mustafar and expire.