Darth Vader



"Now where the fuck is my "act evil" button?"

- Darth Vader

Darth Vader was actually much cooler than his wimpy counter-part, Anakin Skywalker. Nobody liked Anakin, anyway. Vader was jealous of Darth Malak's jaw thingy, so he got himself a whole life-sustaining suit. Vader chopped Obi-Wan Kenobi in half while Kenobi searched the box on Vader's chest, trying to find "Reset."

Vader's Death
Vader died saving his crying son Lukey from Darth Sideous the Hideous. Darth S. was lightning Vader's son and was saying "Your Mama" jokes at him. So Vader took a huge electromagnet and said "You dissing my wife, well, say 'Hello', to my little electromagnet Friend."

- Vader .

Unfortunately, he forgot he was mostly made of metal and while Darth S. was getting shocked by his own lightning, Vader was getting sucked into the magnet. Luke then turns off the magnet to see his father being only a cube of metal with a head on top.

Personality and traits
Vader had a penchant for blowing up planets and enjoyed long walks in the parks of Imperialized planets. He was attracted to shiny objects and liked to Force fondle women's rears from an observable distance while daydreaming about that one chick that couldn't even handle a wimpy version of the Force Choke.

Notes and references
