The Mayor of Coruscant

It's all a government cover up, isn't it?''

- Michael Henchard, aka Ben Kenobi, sees a dead body in his pool.

''I'm the town slut. Fuck this shit, I'll be a stripper.

- The town slut, Michael's daughter.

Plot
The Mayor of Coruscant was a novella written in the 1800s on planet Coruscant, by none other than Ben Kenobi, the notorious friend of Qui-Gon Jinn. The novel concerned (and a few cornered) the rise of Palpatine from his seemingly humble beginnings into a load of nightmarish obscenity which began the movies we know today.

Ode to The Mayor of Coruscant
PalpatineThe mayor's a hedgetrimmer, just like Sawney Bean''

And whaddya know, he takes up livin' upstream

He flies north to Coruscant

Which is actually in the south, perhaps, like a big double croissant.

There he gets drunk and sells his wife,

Which is bad when you read it, mad from outside,

His wife says Fuck you and goes off with a sailor

And from then on and on, the tale gets weirder and weirder.

Ole man river comes down to cry for a bit,

The mayor vows to quit drink but of course he's back on it.

A year or two passes and everything's fine,

But one certain visit seems to grate on the author's mind:

Two Lesbians appear to grate on the holiday cheer -

It never made sense then, and it really doesn't here.

Whaddya know, his daughter's a slut,

And she's fucking all the men in town,

Needless to say, the mayor says Fuck her,

And turns Coruscant round and round

Literally he spins it

So everyone loses their head

Many many pointless people die

I'd have been better off in bed!!!!''

Reception
It was just like bad Chinese food. Bad food of any kind is the worst food possible, but bad Chinese food is the worst of it all.