Template:FA December 2010

Anakin Skywalker, also Annie, Ani, The Chosen One who Cries or Cry Me A River was a legendary, very tall whiny hippie Jedi. He is the biggest crybaby the Jetti, or "Jedi", have ever seen in 25,000 years. His emotions and tears run like a mighty river down his pudgy, scarred face. He was so whinny that he didn't have a father! His seven foot mother monster, Shmi Skywalker, had relations with the Force or that one ugly Muun, Darth Plague the Hippie, who can use the Force to influence the Midi-chlorian sperm cells... too create life. George Lucas God first created Anakin Skywalker way, way back when at the dawn of time. At the time of the Prequels, Anakin was a young emotional little brat living with his momma in the sandy planet of Tatooine. He was found by Liam, er... Qui-Gon Jinn and brought back to the Jetti Temple to become a Jetti. Yoda was not impressed with young emotional Skywalker. Even the bald man sitting next to Yoda wasn't impressed by the little brat.

Though as time went on, and on, Obi-Wan Kenobi trained Anakin to become a tall, whiny emotional horny teenager who cared nothing but his future sexy wife Padmé Amidala, aka Panda Bear. The two had relations in Panda Bear's homeworld of Nabooboo when his sexy girlfriend was receiving death threats by the awesome, badass MANDALORIAN!! Bounty Hunter Jangy Fett. Much, much later the two got married and were fighting in the that one retarded war. Anakin received a Padawan by Yoda himself. No Soup-a With-a Buffet, or "Ahsoka Tano", who was also a whinny emotional bitch (thanks God for this great pairing!), fought alongside with Anakin and the two of them cried until she died in that kiddy show about the war.

Anakin had problems. A lot of problems. As you can see, he had a emotional life. First his monster died... I mentioned that right? Then his sweet, loving, sexy wife Panda Bear is going to die from childbirth! Anakin must save his wife so the two of them can have much relations, or else Anakin's tears will flow like a mighty river. That one confused old man told Annie about Darth Plague and he could learn the one power that created him, the whinny emotional horny Anakin Skywalker. When all this was happening, Obi-Wan should have slapped him but that would only make matters worse, much worse. If he laid one finger on his pudgy face, well... WAAAAAAaaaa!!... Erm... Well... He once killed Count Dookie for a Milky Way bar. Anakin is obviously a Dark Jedi (EMO). He is so EMO that he is cutting his veins in his face, hence his scar. Fortunately that's all false and soon he fought his master in the fiery world of Mufasa because the old man threaten to destroy his planet. Anakin lost... He cried, and cried, and cried when Obi-Wan sliced off his legs and one arm. He cried so much that one old confused man had to go comfort him while Obi-Wan left to steel his sexy wife, who later died. Damn. But, come on... How could a whinny, emotional tall horny teenager turn into the most badass Sith Man Lord ever, Darth Vader? The world may never know...