Template:FA April 2011

Wilhem McBumfluff was a unique Sith. Firstly, he was German. This means he was prone to starting ze wars for ze Vaterland. But, what was even more unique about him, was that he was a paperweight. Oh, yes, he was a very good paperweight. And, prior to Order 66 he advised Palpatine right from his desk. But his German-ness meant he had no humour ability, and so he was entirely unable to make clever, witty one-liners to his enemies shortly (and yes, he was short) before decapitating them. He'd have been better off if he were a shopping trolley. Do you know what the difference between a German and a shopping trolly is?

A shopping trolly has a mind of it's own.

Wilhelm McBumfluff, like his brothers in ze Vaterland, tended to follow people. Except the man he followed didn't have a moustache. Nor a heavily waxed moustache. Nor did he have a beard. In fact, he didn't have any facial hair whatsoever, making Wilhelm a very poor excuse for a German. His inability to make humorous remarks meant he was always inferior to his master, Palpatine. Do you know what the difference between the Dresden bombing and one of Wilhelm's jokes was?

Only the first can make you smile.

Eventually, Wihlem branched out on a track of his own. Like all Sith, he changed his planet of birth to Tatooine, got himself a cloak to fit over his metal contours and "body", and stopped work as a full time paperweight so he could, instead, terrify the stationery industry across the galaxy. Quite an audacious attempt, and one that was stopped, eventually, by Obi-Wan Kenobi, who tied him up with his belt and doomed him to an eternity of weighing down sheets of wood.

A humiliation for a paperweight.