User:DarthIktomi/Squick

This is my rant page for all the stupid shit Star Wars has put us through over the years trying to make the franchise seem sexy. Star Wars has to be the only series that Rule 34's itself. Note: If you're a Star Wars author and your work appears on this list, please, keep your books G-rated from this point on or I might have to destroy your planet. I'll see if Madclaw wants to Wookiee-nookie you too.

Movies

 * In Return of the Jedi, we learn that Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa are brother and sister. That's fine, except they kissed three times, and Darth Lucas says a kiss is code for relations in these movies.

Expanded Universe

 * Star Wars: The Clone Wars has an eleven-year-old Ahsoka Tano flirting with Anakin Skywalker throughout.
 * In The Clone Wars: No Prisoners, this same No Soup-a tells the clones that the Jedi have relations between missions.
 * In Republic Commando: Triple Zero, a Jedi gets knocked up by a twelve-year-old. Naturally, the Mandalorians aren't pedophiles, unlike the Jedi.
 * In Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, Count Dooku tempts Yoda with the ladies.
 * In Shadows of the Empire, Xizor reflects that he has relations with Guri.
 * In Shadows of the Empire, Darth Vader is naked.
 * In X-Wing: Rogue Squadron, we learn that Corran Horn is a furry, as is Gavin Darklighter.
 * In The Courtship of Princess Leia, Isolder imagines his mother and Wormie having sex.
 * In that same damn book, Isolder and Wormie are Teneniel Djo's slaves. Wormie also explains to her why rape is wrong.
 * In Dark Empire, we see Palpatine naked.
 * In Jedi Search, Daala mentions that she had relations with Tarkin to get to the top. The top apparently being a science position in the middle of nowhere. Also, she hasn't been with a guy since his death, relying instead on his memory. Yet despite all this, she complains about the sexism of SHAVING HER HEAD! *facepalm*
 * In Children of the Jedi, Callista and Luke have relations while she's still a disembodied ghost.
 * In Planet of Twilight, Leia is offered a chance to take pictures of her children by a dealer in Huttese pornography.
 * In The Crystal Star, Han Solo gets the chance to have relations with an alien that dies after relations with a human. He also hits on a girl, with his brother-in-law watching. But he tells Wormie "I'm a man. Men have needs, so you should understand if I cheat on your sister." Oddly, this works.
 * In Tyrant's Test, sexdroids are mentioned.
 * If you've been cited as evidence of Marakin, you belong here.
 * In The Joiner King, pretty much all that Killik arm-rubbing.
 * In Invincible, Tahiri Veila rapes Ben Skywalker.

Fanfic
If you have ever written Star Wars fanfic, you belong here.

In other words, pretty much everyone.