Darth Poindexter

One day when Poindexter was but a wee boy of 2, living in a small town in Ireland, he decided the Jedi are stupid and that they are just so helpless, so he turned into the most awesom-est Sith dude who ever lived in Ireland. Then he moved to the Sith thing, that stupid place where Sith learn how to make bagels. Since he was the best in his preschool class, he moved up to the elite preschoolers, where you learn how to make bagels take pictures. Then he cried, because he wanted to make bagels kill Jedi, not take pictures. So he figured out how to do this on his own, and with his powerful bagel army he blew up the preschool and took only his best friend. But soon he learned that his friend was a preschool Jedi Grandmaster, so he threw his friend, whose name was Jeffy Bob, all the way back to Ireland. This guy's mean! Then he made a new friend whose name was Mater Newee, and they had a playdate, during which Mater Newee jumped off a cliff. Poindexter died because his best friend pushed him off a cliff when he was 96. At first he managed to grab onto a man-eating plant, who ate him. The man-eating plant didn't like him, so it spit him out, then he continued to fall toward his death. And everyone lived happily ever after; the end.