Dan the Stormtrooper



"Hey Dan, wheres your rifle?"

- Stormtrooper "I took it apart so i could hide my weed."

- Dan

Dan the Stormtrooper was a Stormtrooper among the Galactic Empire who was stationed on the Death Star and was the sole distributor of weed among the Superstation. He had a care free attitude and during firefights he simply stayed in the back avoiding monumental or catastrophic danger.

Early Life
Dan was born on the planet of Tatooine and was the neighbor of Luke Skywalker and during his time as a kid he was the one who tried to sell Luke his first Joint. "Are you sure about this?"

- Luke

"Yeah, man everyone's doing it, don't be such a jack off."

- Dan

"Well Ok.... how much?"

- Luke

"500 credits, ... a fairly cheap price."

- Dan

"500 credits I don't have that!? I could buy a new landspeeder with that."

- Luke

".......and your point is?"

- Dan

Dan at Imperial Boot Camp
"Will there be babes?"

- Dan questioning his mom in joining the Imperial Army

Dan joined the Imperial Army and more specifically the Stormtrooper Corps. During his first day of induction Dan mingled around and found out the Drill wasn't all what it was supposed to be when he met Drill Instructor Fordo. During his 6 months at Basic Training and Fordo specifically made his life a "piece of shit".

"Dan! Front in Center! recruit!"

- Fordo

"Sir!"

- Dan

"I want you to go to those damn Jawas and get my Datapad back!"

- Fordo

"Sir WTF? It's like 50 miles away."

- Dan

"Last night I saw you looking at pictures of my wife and it's time for your punishment?"

- Fordo

"Your wifes a Porn Star?"

- Dan

".....*sigh* just go."

- Fordo

Dan after 6 months of intense and brutal training finally graduated with distinctions which he actually stole from the "official" cadet. Dan took the opportunity in which he stole to go to the Empire's safest battle station, the Death Star.

Dan in the Death Star
After graduating from the Imperial Academy Dan was stationed on the Death Star where he spent his year growing weed and starting plantations among the 500 mile diameter superstation. His day consisted of countless transactions and that made Dan instantly popular among the Death Star personnel. "Ahem, I heard you were the one.."

- Darth Vader

"Yes i sell a variety and even bongs too."

- Dan

"No need for the Bong this suit makes the whole experience better. *wink*"

- Darth Vader

"Standard package? 20 kilos?"

- Dan

"Make it 40, got some Twi'leks in my office."

- Darth Vader