User:Darth Raving

"Sith Lord, eh? How come you want him for an apprentice? It's because I'm a girl, isn't it? It's because my feminine intelligence intimdates you! I'm sick of this sexist religion." -Darth Raving to her former master, Darth Sid.

Darth Raving is a simple girl. All she wanted in life was a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, and perhaps a planet or five to lord over. It was never to be, however, when her oh-so fragile dreams were shattered by A Meddling Prat. He seemed to think that it was a crime that she was dedicated to Force Choking Toady, and subsequently took her down. She survived, however. To this day, she languishes in her dark pit at a laptop, writing rubbish for people who really should be getting some exercise.

Early Years.

 * Darth Raving was born in the small hamlet of Earth.
 * She went on to bigger and better things at the age of five, when she was handpicked to become a handmaiden of The White Witch and was subsequently whisked away through a suspcious smelling wardrobe. She escaped after discovering that The White Witch only wanted her blood and possibly some Poontag. This really freaked Darth Raving out, so she escaped aboard the Ebon Duck.

Sith Apprentice.

 * It was then that she met a certain Kindly Old Man who taught her some cool crap about the Force and stuff. Then he really POed her by paying more attention to Some Whiny Pretty Boy, who she had previously thought was Pretty Darn Hot, but then she saw the light- and his adam's apple. So she decided to become self employed.

Sith Lady.

 * It was roughly about this time that Darth Raving discovered that Old Wrinkly had actually taught her nothing; his lessons mainly consisted of stories about his Gay Muum and random bursts of Sith Lightning. So she went to Toady for help.

Sith Apprentice (again).

 * On arriving in Dagobore, she found the smelly little gherkin in his love shack. He was still all angry about his beloved Hot Jedi Sexy Kitty betraying him, and was more than happy to teach the girl some actual cool crap about the Force and stuff. Sadly, he took his hate and anger, and chanelled them into rapping instead of being a Sith Master. This left Darth Raving in yet another tricky predicky.

Sith Lady (again).

 * Finally having been trained properly by Froggy, Darth Raving decided that her first conquest as a Proper Sith would be getting some sweet revenge on Toady for turning to the Rap Side. Things started out Ok, but she got lost on Dagobore and ended up being swallowed by a Venus Flytrap that Toady had infused with baby-bio. It was good fun; he had a fine sense of humour due to the amount of hard drugs Grasshopper had buried under Dagobore's surface over the years.
 * She was found by Some Blonde Kid who learned of her quest to neuter Yoda and tried to defeat her. Darth Raving would have won if Whiny II hadn't cheated by pinging her bra strap. Let's face it, you don't get much lower than that. She retaliated by giving him a mega-awesome-sterilising wedgie. Let's face it; Ben just isn't his.
 * Nursing her wounds, Darth Raving returned to Earth, where she was grudgingly accepted back as a geek.

Undercover Sith Lady.

 * Let's never forget that she never dropped the title of Darth, and is still very much evil. Don't cross her. Unfortunately, some idiot thought that the fact she considered herself a Force User with unlimited power made her clinically insane. So she's undercover.
 * Have YOU seen Toady??? Contact Darth Raving now, she wants his little cabbage head on a platter!!!