Pesto con muerte

''Gonks delicious but inedible basil-cilantro pesto is perfect for the next time a friend or family member loses a bet. They'll praise your ingenuity through their tears of agony. The vivid, ectoplasmic green color&mdash;derived from the almonds and the unreasonable amount of garlic&mdash;shows this is one pesto that's full of surprises!''

The ungrammatical name came about because I thought it sounded more intimidating than "pesto del muerto" or however you say it.

Ingredients

 * 2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves
 * 1 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro
 * 1/3 cup slivered almonds
 * 2 bulbs garlic, crushed
 * ''Yes, I said "bulbs," not "cloves."
 * 2 tablespoons lemon juice
 * 1/2 teaspoon salt
 * 2/3 cup olive oil

Directions
Add all ingredients to blender and blend until pasty. Adding a few handfuls of water may be necessary to get the large chunks to blend. Serve over anything you're not too proud of; the pesto will overwhelm everything else (including your victims' very souls).