Conversation of Boba Fett and the barista

Conversation overheard in a Kybucks coffee house between Boba Fett, some Mandalorians, and an underpaid barrista.

Welcome to Kybucks. May I take your order?

I'm not gay!

What?

Take it back right now! I'm not gay!

I never said you were.

You were thinking it.

Why would I&mdash;

Everybody does. Everybody thinks we Mandalorians are all gay. I can see it in their eyes.

Well, I wouldn't&mdash;

I mean, look at me. The mask, the jetpack, the blaster rifle, the flamethrower...

The fibercord whip, the stun cuffs...

Exactly! I follow my quarry for weeks, then I catch him, tie him up, slap the cuffs on him, and carry him back to my ship&mdash;

With a ball and gag.

Exactly! I mean, no! I'm not gay!

Right, I never said you were. You're just an efficient bounty hunter.

Precisely. I always get my man.

*snort*

I heard that.

Sorry.

This is ridiculous. I mean, yes, a few Mandalorians are gay, a very small percentage, nothing wrong with it, but I've got a reputation to maintain. I can't have everybody thinking we're all a bunch of ponces.

Not at all.

I can't have people thinking we're all so light in the loafers we don't even need our jetpacks to leave the ground. Hey, Fenn, tell him! Tell him we're not all fairies.

Um...

Um, Fenn, who's your, um, friend?

...

Melvin, explain to the guy. Tell him how straight we Mandalorians are.

Excuse me?

Tell the barrista here we Mandalorians aren't all gay.

I think I am.

No, you're not, Melvin.

No, think about it. I've never really had a girlfriend...

That's because you're a loser, not because you're gay. Look, somebody back me up here! We Mandalorians are not a race of poofs, right? Cassus?

...

Cassus?

...

Anybody? How about you?

Are you kidding? I had to get breast implants just to keep the men away.

...

So, um...

Venti mocha, please, and let us never speak of this again.