Sylvana Zen

"Whoa...."

- every guy who ever met Sylvana Zen

Sylvana Zen also known as Darth Totally Hot, was an extremely powahful Sith Mega-Super-Overlord and also a Sith Mega-Super-Hot Overlord, the only Sith to recieve this title. Like all powerful Sith, she was trained under the totally awesome Darth Vader.

Sylvana was a gorgeous (she made Guri seem like a Wookiee)Force-Sensitive human created by some geeky fanboy who is a frequent viewer of Darthipedia. Darth Vader won her in a duel and made her his apprentice, telling her that he was her "father". Over the years Sylvana did many tasks for her master, but when she found out that Vader was manipulating her, she attacked him. Defeated, Vader admitted that he was not her "father", but a lowly fanboy was. Enraged, she destroyed all the planets in the galaxy except for Tatooine (her home planet, obviously) in hopes of finding this fanboy. Finally she was forced to admit that this fanboy was probably on that legendary wet rock in the middle of nowhere annd began her search. Sylvana then found her maker and continues to stalk him to this day. In fact, she's stalking him right now.

Who is this fanboy you ask? Just some geek named. You're probably wondering who this is, so scroll down, and learn about the whole, nerdy affair.

= Creation =

"I am going to destroy your pla...are those peanut butter sandwiches?"

- Darth Vader prior to the events of Sylvana Zen's birth

Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away there lived a Star Wars fanboy named. One day was at the Annual Star Wars Convention hoping to pick up a fangirl or at least get an email address. Having no such luck, the dejected tried his hand at pin-the-tail-on-the-tauntaun in hopes of winning something, albeit cheap and made in China. While the others won spectacular prizes such as lightsabers and tickets to the next Annual Star Wars Convention, poor only won a magnet in the shape of Darth Vader's mask. Saddened, made his way home where he stuck his cheap plastic magnet on his fridge and then returned to his only true love: the computer.

After many hours began to feel hungry so he decided to make himself a snack before going back to the computer. So he went to the fridge and started making himself mini peanut butter sandwiches in the shape of Darth Vader. Suddenly there was a puff of smoke followed by an awful smell, which left in wonder (he didn't eat that many burritos at the convention, did he?). When the smoke cleared, did not see any refriegerator magnet of Darth Vader, but the real Lord Vader himself. Vader threatened to destroy 's planet. That was when he noticed the peanut butter sandwiches.

It just so happened that peanut butter was Lord Vader's cheif fetish ever since he was that whiny brat, so he struck up a bargain with : the sandwiches for his planet. While enjoying the sandwiches, Vader revealed to that Palpatine trapped him in the magnet while Vader was saving his whiny son Luke from being Yo Mama'd. Then old Palpy sold the magnet to some Star Wars fan club for $0.50 saying it was a rare antiquity. The fans, thinking him a loser (which was not an untruth, you know), donated it to the Annual Star Wars Convention Cheap Consolation Prize Organization (ANSWCCCPO) where coincidentially won it. Darth Vader continued by saying that the magnet had left him unable to use the Force to get out of it, but his desire for the peanut butter sandwiches was enough to boost his powers and break free. Therefore, Vader said, he would grant one wish in exchange.

Thinking back to how he didn't pick up a fangirl, didn't recieve one (not one) email address, decided to use his wish on creating the perfect girlfriend. Not a Twi'lek, he thought, because it might be a loser like Alema Rar, nor a mere droid like Guri, rather a mix between the two. So Darth Vader took him to the Build a Girlfriend Workshop (on Tatooine, obviously) where he let choose all the settings to make his "dream girl", including Force-sensitiveness. When he finally pressed the "Finish" button, Sylvana Zen was born.

= Biography =

Fight for Sylvana
When Sylvana was finally ready, deemed her perfect and prepared to take her home. But Darth Vader wouldn't hear it. He had expected to make a Twi'lek like everything else; he hadn't expected this come out of the machine. Now that Lord Vader saw Sylvana he wanted her sooo badly. So he drew his lightsaber and demanded to give up Sylvana. was a geeky fanboy (just look at the stuff he's reading!) and his inner geek instinct told him to back down immediately or he'd be stuffed in a locker... or worse. In the end Darth Vader stole 's girlfriend and took her as his apprentice, Sylvana Zen.

Sylvana's Training
Unlike most Sith, Darth Vader and his apprentice often traveled together and they became very... close, if you catch my gist. While they weren't spending time becoming... uh, getting close, Vader taught her the ways of the Sith as well as ordinary subjects as well... like geography. Vader's geography in specific. Oh yes, Lord Vader was very particular in teaching his apprentice that.

Darth Vader tasked Sylvana