Darth Ruptus

"Yo,, this is an okay article. Ima let you read it, but Beyoncé has one of the best articles of all time!"

- Darth Ruptus

Darth Ruptus was an ill-mannered, egotistical Sith Lord who roamed the galaxy, seeking out public events where he could grab a microphone and express his personal opinions, which ranged from music to politics to fine wines.

Early career
Darth Ruptus was born Anye Quest on Metellos. A mild-mannered youth, he kept to himself mostly. All of the authority figures in his life lectured him extensively. His parents, teachers, bosses, probation counselors, and psychotherapists went on at length while young Anye listened politely. But while Anye sat and listened, great anger was building within the young man.

Events came to a head when he set eyes upon Beyoncé, a beautiful, big-breasted, dark-skinned girl from Nabooboo. From that point on, he could not sit quietly during anyone else's speech... losing all control, he burst out with effusive praise for his would-be girlfriend. In the middle of class, in the middle of his workday at Biscuit Baron, or in the middle of his sentencing hearing for selling drugs to underage prostitutes while driving drunk, Anye would suddenly interject something like, "Yo, Miss Kavner, I know you're giving out our social studies assignment, but Beyoncé wrote one of the best essays of all time!"

Turn to the dark side
"He's a jackass... exactly as I had foreseen."

- Palpatine

Eventually, Beyoncé became annoyed with Anye's antics and took out a restraining order against him. This drove Anye into a fit of rage, prompting him to burst into the Galactic Senate on Coruscant in the middle of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine's Declaration of a New Order. He grabbed Palpatine's microphone and shouted, "Palpatine doesn't care about black people! And by the way, Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time!" Then he slaughtered a bunch of younglings, turned evil, renamed himself "Darth Ruptus," and set out on a quest to interrupt every single speech in the galaxy.

Meanwhile, Beyoncé, heartbroken by her insane stalker's actions, gave birth to twins, lost her will to live, and died. According to Darth Ruptus, she gave birth to the best twins of all time!