The Darth the Frankenstein's Monster

The Darth the Frankenstein's Monster was created by the self-proclaimed Sith exile (Sith wannabe) Frankenstein after his self-proclaimed exile to Selfridges. Letting Frankenstein into your pizza parlour and pork loaf store was a big mistake: Once inside Selfridges, Frankenstein ate the lot.

Inspiration
Frankenstein then learned of his disastrous mistake and desired to create a being which would need never eat, need never crap, and need never bitch. Failing to realize that suchbeings (Category:Such beings) already existed in the form of angels, Frankenstein went ahead and created one anyway. It was tall, gigantic, and extra-large. In other words, Frankenstein had created his first Monster, which he shocked to life with electricity.

Birth
"Shit! Give - my Creature - shit!''

- Victor, at the height of the electrical storm.

Victor Frankenstein, the hankie of Europe, left his work on the Creature he had creatured and then he went and fucked his girlfriend Padme. Padme, however, realized she had won $10,000000,00000 in the Lottery, a hallmark of civilized society, and therefore she left Victor and said "Fuck you, bitch!" They went off to see the Creature, but too late, he said the same thing.

''I - am - the Monster! I - Hate - Christmas!''

- The Creature turns into the Monster.

The Creature realized that DVDs would get one nowhere in life and decided to become baaaadd. Bad as you could go. Worse. His name was -

(Gulps)

Cantcha write it down?

Nah, even though I'm 40, I can't spell for some idiotic reason. Anyway... uh... Voldemort! Don't make me say that again. Anyway, the Monster, for some weeks now, told Frankenstein to fuck it and went to France. He met a peasant familee and then saw an Arab.



Life in France
The Monster lived with a peasant father, his wife, their daughter, the town rebel, and for some reason, their Arab fiance who lived with them. By studying the linqo of the town, the Monster taught himself how to read. His first words were, in French: "Can I not get any peace? Not even at night? The French people came in their hundreds to see me executed. Now you come to see my spirit trapped in wax. Stay away... Or you'll be sorry!"

...Do? What do you think I did? I got the fuck out of there, mister! And the hounds of Hell won't get me back in there again!

The Monster lived with the family for awhile, reading The Bible and That Book I Can't Remember The Name of Or Find, But It's Definitely in There So If You Remove the Info Again I Will Have You Banned!

Gaining his Confidence
It took a major step forward for the Monster of Frankenstein to regain some confidence and pick up chicks. Not the business of college or getting an alien car to impress girls for him. Naw. He time-travelled. Back to King Arthur's court. He became a Monster in King Arthur's court and saved the kingdom of Logres from an evil imposter. Anyway, long story short, the Monster finally approached the Arab girl and fucked her. Her grandda found out about it, and he sacked the Monster - they had a long argument about it in The Apprentice style, and the grandda was eventually like "You're fired."

Hey, What's Hollywood Like?
The Frankenstein's Monster finally met Palpatine after all this while, venturing far and wide on pointless and unnecessary quests like throwing a Ring into a volcano to prevent a Dark Lord from being king again. The Monster chatted to Palpatine, "Hey, you know how to pick up chicks?" and "Hey, what's Hollywood like?" and he was confronted by Palpatine singing this song:

"So come on kiddo, whassit gonna be?

Money - girls?

Or perhaps one particular girl?

That Auuuuuuuuudrey!?!?!?!

Think it over!

There must be someone you can '86 real quiet-like - 

And get me someone to EAT!!!"

The Monster's first mission for Palpatine was to star as some imposter named Darth Karloff in the famous 1940s flick Frankenstein, which all the kiddies saw. The Monster, to his surrpise, excelled at that, and Palpatine's first request in congratulations was that they go and apologize to a homosexual male cheerleader who the Monster had been bullying and raping. Anyway, the Monster did what he did best in response to this statement, he told the Sith Lord Darth Sidious to fuck off. In other words, get a move on, Hopper, he went on to star in more movies.

The Monster's next Sithy assignment given to him by Palpatine was to star in at least ten more Frankenstein movies, playing the same role over and over. The Monster was eventually fired from his job for serious misconduct with a little girl when he was suddenly called back in the 1980s to star in yet more movies, and by the 1990s the movie-goers were employing the Monster in more movies than ever, with fresh arguments alive and contradicting the relationships between birds and dinosaurs.

In the 2000s, Frankenstein's monster shot to fame wearing a toga in the movie Van Helsing and had the title Sith Lord bestowed upon him by a pleased Darth Sidious, Palpatine, who was pleased at the Monster starring alongside the three sexy Brides of Dracula. The Sith Lord Palpatine bestowed the title "The Darth the Frankenstein's Monster" upon the Darth the Frankenstein's Monster, hence the name of this title.

Unfortunately, the Darth the Frankenstein's Monster sailed too far into a peasant and died, ending his reign of cinematic stupidity.