Jek Porkins

"I've got a problem here&hellip;I've run out of fries! Life isn't worth living!"

- The last words of Jek Porkins

Jek Porkins. For the purposes of comedy, assume that the article I am too lazy to write for this guy would include numerous hilarious references to his obesity and propensity to consume vast quantities of fatty junk foods. Perhaps said article would also link to a Photoshopped image of Porkins at the Battle of Yavin, with a bucket of chicken wings in place of his flight controls. It's funny because his greed would directly result in his horrific death.

Appearances

 * KFC, Shropshire town centre
 * McDonald's, various
 * Pizza the Hutt, All-You-Can-Eat Sunday