Han the Destroyer

Destroying your planet. Serious business.

"I am so gonna destroy your planet."
Darth Vader to Princess Leia

"I will destroy your planet" was a phrase commonly spoken by individuals who possessed much more firepower than was really logistically necessary, or by individuals who didn't, but wanted to impress people. It was a favorite phrase of Darth Vader in response to belligerent (and even non-belligerent) Rebel sympathizers. He would almost always back it up by going on to actually destroy their planet.

Means of planetary destruction

Boom boom boom

Pictured: A helluva lot of bombs (click for film).

Leia: "No! Alderaan is a peaceful planet, we have no weapons!"
Vader: "Too bad bitch, I've got this honkin' big Death Star! Stick this up your peace pipe and smoke it!"
— Leia and Vader discussing the fate of said planet.

Darth Vader's original way of destroying a planet usually involved lots of bombs. A helluva lot of bombs, perhaps too many to actually be physically possible to carry out the threat without a severely inflated workforce and a heavy machinery license. Following the creation of huge multitudes of Star Destroyers, Vader believed he had found a far more efficient way of destroying your, or indeed anyone else's, planet. However, being by their very nature Star Destroyers, they would more often than not miss the planetoid destructee completely, firing into a nearby star and causing a supernova that Vader's fleet would then have to Hyperdrive away from.

Fortunately, the creation of the Death Star greatly reduced collateral damage to Imperial property.

Alternative means of planetary destruction

Various other ways of destroying planets have been and will be invented. Various other Superlaser wielding moon like battle stations have been invented. Most of these were rip-offs of the Death Star, such as the Death Star II and the Death Star III however these did not last long so the Death Stars were never out classed, despite their glaring weakness.

2409th Taxation and Power Controlling Rule

Until the 2409 Taxation and Power Controlling Rule was put into place, there was a way to destroy planets privately, without the use of the military. The Rich could pay lots of money to rent Death Stars from shops like Rent a Star, this was (and still is) the easiest way to destroy a planet. Poorer people such as Darth Oscar had to live with destroying plants instead.

After the 2409 taxation and power control rule was put into place, the rich were no longer allowed to rent Death Stars. From then onwards the rich had to enjoy alternative forms of destruction, such as destroying your Muuns or destroying your rear, however few stooped as low as destroying plants.

A minor setback



"You have failed me for the last time!"
―Darth Vader to his bomb makers.[src]

After the destruction of the Death Star, Vader was forced to resume his bombtastic ways. But his bombs had lost their "kick", which resulted in the failure of blowing up Hoth. And Bespin, well, since the planet was mostly gas, his bombs failed to work and passed right through the planet resulting in the destruction of an unknown planet. With the death of Darth Vader, and the Empire's defeat at Endor (Which Vader also failed to destroy), destroying one's planet ended up disappearing from the existence of the galaxy until KJA realized that being original was for good authors, and who wants to be one of them? None of us, that's for sure!

Later Planet Destruction

When Beagle Force attempted to assassinate Lord Disney by travelling back in time via the World Between Worlds, they destroyed a couple worlds for fun happily ignoring the consequences that it would have for the future.

During the Shadow Wars, it was estimated that 143 planets and moons were complete destroyed by the forces of the Shadow Minds. Meanwhile, the Porgpire, led by Darth Porg destoyed an Entire Galaxy and then decided to chill out by Ahch-To.

When a breach opened up on a Beagle world, Beagle Force went through it and destroyed the original dimension of the Kaiju and destroyed an untold number of planets by devouring them.

Lord Disney destoyed an entire reality, and caused the death of George Lucas.



PWNage at work.

"Blow that big rock sky high!"
Darth Porg, when a planet gets in the way of his fleet


"I will destroy your planet!"
―Darth Malak to the Tarisians[src]
"I will destroy your planet!"
―Darth Vader many, many times
"I'll be back... To destroy your planet!"
―The Governator to the Democratic party
"Question: But how is that possible master? I have already destroyed your planet."
"6 666 666666 6666 666666!"
Satan after destroying one planet
"Irritated response: Master, you forget so easily, you've already destroyed 247 and a half planets, not 239 planets."
"No good old fireworks like Mr Gandalf used to show..."
Sam discusses the famed planet-demolisher
"What lovely fireworks."
―Darth Frieza after destroying a planet
"1 w!11 d35+r0y y0ur p14n3+"
Nuku-Nuku in l33t[src]
"Give up! I'm going to destory you all! Surrender and suffer death, as well as HUMILIATION!!! MUAH HA HA!"
Darth Azula about to destory Tatooine II.
Darth Homer
"—and it made a huge BOOM!"
―George Washington, talking about destroying a planet.
"I will destroy your planet IRC"

See also

This article is called Destroy your planet. Destroy your planet has been written from a simple, Ric Olié point of view. A non-simple version of Destroy your planet can be read on Darthipedia. Darthipedia is the Star Wars Humor Wiki.